BIG BLONDE AND BEAUTIFUL

During the winter have you ever wished you looked a little bit more like the summer version of you?

We all do-there is no question in my mind that everyone would agree, we all look better in the summer. You are tanner, skinnier, blonder and just all around better looking. Cosmo had a statistic that something like 54% of people meet their boyfriends/girlfriends in the warmer months. Yes, the weather is hotter but I’m convinced as a race, WE ARE HOTTER too!

So because I will be spending my spring break in New York City (buying clothes for the warmer months slash my new boy toy that I’m destined to find this spring) I will not be getting a tan like those of you partying it up in Cabo Wabo. Therefore I decided to solve all my problems in a bottle. No, not the alcohol bottle (but that might help too) a bottle self tanner and a bottle of shampoo that is color depositing (blonde, of course). Both of which have a weird stench, a horrifyingly bright orange color and have glitter in them-just call me Mariah.

Yes, sometimes these things go horribly wrong. People turn orange, they smell funny, and all around look like an umpa lumpa. And the shampoo could be bad too, the whole my hair turning bleach blonde or all my hair falling out thing is petrifying. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

So far, I am a couple of days in and none of these terrifying things have happened…actually I’m lookin’ kinda good.

So all you paradise jet setters be ready because when you get back I’ll be big blonde and beautiful and will have a whole new wardrobe.

So watch out all you guys out there I am ready for the warm months and I’ll be out on the prowl on the reg.