Cupid Give Me Some Arrows

Have you ever wished that someone would just set you up so that you didn't have to go out looking for prince charming?

I DO!! But its never happened like that for me. Actually, I lied, one time it did happen and instead or prince charming I got a Shrek like stalker, but that is beside the point.

I am more of the setter upper instead of the set up. If you have ever seen "Fiddler on the Roof" you know the song, "match maker, match maker make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch." That's my theme song, in more ways than one. It's a sad situation for me, but if you are single and ready to mingle I will probably find you a a cute, smart, funny boyfriend that I am "just friends with" (but secretly love with) in hours of you telling me you want one. I know, your thinking this isn't true, that I'm not Patti Stanger from the Millionaires club-I'm Better!

You could be one of my single friends reading this right now, thinking but I go out with you all the time and I don't have a boyfriend. But I promise if I worked at it for one night, you and Mr. Perfect(let's be honest with my group of friends, Mr. Frat Star) will be riding off together into sunset by the end of the night in a horse drawn carriage(or F150). Believe me, I have better success rates than eHarmony.

All I know is in about 2 years I expect to be giving some hilarious bridesmaid speeches on the reg.

KATRINA vs. Electronics!!

Have you ever felt like all of your electronics were going against you?

I am usually not one of those people.

I am usually the the abuser, I fully understand that my friends have nicknamed me Katrina for a reason. Yes, Katrina, like the hurricane. I break most things I touch and leave my debree most everywhere I go. I tend to have issues keeping my arms and legs in control(my parents always told me that was because I was growing. Not growing anymore guys, I'm 21) which leads me to be a bull in a china shop of some sorts.

But this week it was as if all of my electronics were seeking revenge. It was war.

Sunday: I have been known to drop phones in liquids, peeled the numbers off of them, covered them in duct tape but Sunday really took the cake. one of my friends drove over it. The screen was black but at least it still kinda worked.

later that day i new it was done when a spark flew out of the bottom.

Monday: I tried to watch a a video, yes video tape, on my TV. Mind you, my TV is a TV/VCR circa 1989. I mean the type of old that people walk into my room and ask me if "that dinosaur" works? Well, thanks to the tape that got stuck in the VCR, the answer is NO, it won't even turn on.

TVs down for the count.

Tuesday:I woke up and went to my 8am(the only people that should wake up that early are people with jobs and people with dogs) and brought my computer to class to take notes. I opened the computer and tried to open a new document. I have a mac book pro and the track pad wasn't responding.

Mac book=1 me=0.

It is Wednesday and nothing is broken yet but i am sure something will go by the wayside. But I'm just waiting! I will be ready!

Whether it's my Katrina skills or my magnetic personality, even though the electronics think they have one up on me. I will persevere and win the war on the reg.

love boat vs. love in this club

Have you ever thought about how different your life would be if you were a different ethnicity?

I think about it all the time.

I have your typical 1950's pin up girl coke bottle figure. Which now-a-days barely gets you aboard the love boat, and even once you are on, you are just a white girl with curves.

Considering, I live in a bubble that consists of country club good ole boys and moms who are not only hotter than their daughters, they look like Twiggy. Curves aren't exactly something that guys are looking for.

This year I changed my mind. Guys are looking for girls with curves, just not white guys.

During my time on a campus that is 76% White and 5% Black, 76% of the dates I have been asked out on were by Black guys, 18% by creamies(this is a term I have come by for inter-racial people) and 5% white guys. It's true those good ole boys aren't looking for a girl like me.

AWESOME.

CASE IN POINT: If I were Black my life would be different for sure. I WOULD BE A HOTTIE!!

I am loud and proud and got it going on. Maybe I should jump off the love boat(*note: I was never really on board) and move to makin' love in the club.

So from now on call me Shanana Destiny on the reg.

Take My Picture

Have you ever tried to make yourself look skinnier in pictures...

Yes, I gave you that pause to admit it to yourself that you have...It's ok we all do it!

Ever lifted your chin a little higher to avoid the double chin?

Ever smiled a little smaller so maybe you wouldn't show so much gum?

Ever bent over a little bit so that maybe your boobs would just fall perfectly into place?

Those are all pretty good but my personal favorite is the arm pop....

The arm pop has truly become popular in recent years or maybe I just came to the age where the arm pop became necessary. That's terrifying.

I don't think I have one picture framed that the girl on the end doesn't have her arm popped...yes it's true-we don't fight to be in the middle of the picture because we want to get closer to our best friend or the cute boy in the middle (I mean we don't hate that either) it's so that our arms are completely hidden.

Here is the catch, guys have totally caught on...they know we do it. We aren't hiding anything by doing any of the above things because they see right through us especially those of them that know us in real life. But, we do look damn good in our Facebook pics. And looking good in a picture is a confidence booster.

So to my fellow photo divas, keep up the good work. Even though I know they have us figured out, I don't care. I like that my arm looks skinnier and that those double chins some how molded into one and I know he does too.

Therefore, I am and will forever be a arm popper on the reg.

P.S. Skinny girls don't fight it. Stand on the damn end.

Marching to the beat of your own drum

Have you ever wished that your life was set to music? I have, daily, actually pretty much if I'm doing anything I think about how if I were in a movie there would be some great tune in the background explaining exactly what I was thinking.

I feel like this is definitely applicable when it comes to relationships...

for example...

• The 1st time you were kissed in truth or dare in middle school by the boy you really liked and your best friend dared him to kiss you because she new you would melt-Crush by Jennifer Paige totally would have been playing
• When you were walking down the beach holding hands with your boyfriend...yea people actually take long walks on the beach-My Boo by Usher and Alicia Keys was running through your head
• When you are breaking it down on the dance floor smiling at that new someone special you just met in the bar and all you wanna do is dance-Boogie Shoes by KC & the Sunshine band is blaring as the montage of you throwing your head back and laughing
• When you are in a huge fight with that guy that you don't really want to leave but you just want to make a point-Give Me One Reason by Tracy Chapman is playing with it's slow beat to sooth the soul
• or the most common for me, unfortunately, when that relationship doesn't work out and you are so sad you feel like nothing can make it better and you think to yourself "Will I ever love again?"-The Trouble With Love by Kelly Clarkson is playing loud enough to drown out your thoughts

It seems a little dramatic but don't you feel that if you had music set to your life you would absolutely by the soundtrack. I know I would.

All I know is as of right now "I'm Walking On Sunshine" on the reg.

FOMO

Have you ever had that feeling that when you meet someone they just completely understand you. That he is the one person that can really see into your soul.

Yea..I don't usually get those butterflies. I usually meet a guy at a bar and think, this was great talking to you but I feel like those people over there are having a better conversation than the one that we are having. So being as ADD as I am, I completely loose focus say "Oh? yea" every now and then, maybe even throw in a giggle here and there and wait for just the right moment for me to interject in the conversation the the two people are having next to me...
Usually guys don't call you out for that sort of thing and the people I interrupt tend to enjoy a new conversation booster considering I'll probably get bored with that conversation soon and do exactly the same thing I did to the last guy to them within 5 mins.

It wasn't until recently that I was called out for this. And who would have thunk it...what I thought was just disinterest in having a long conversation is an actual thing...

FOMO:Fear Of Missing Out

It was just another innocent night out at the bar this guy and I start talking-he was tall dark and handsome everything most girls would want and then it happened he told me his name...Gill

Gill just sounds like an old geezer that wears suspenders and has that weird snort sniffle laugh. not to mention that is not a name...it is what fish breath out of. I wouldn't name a child nostril, would you.
Well any way, my attention span began to wither and the people next to me started talking about shark week (I mean how could you not want to jump in there). That was it...I was hooked on their conversation. I started to turn and I'm sure said something brilliant and very in-lighting like "Did you know, sharks have the most powerful jaws on the planet!" when Gill grabbed my hand and said, "You are such a FOMO!!"
What do you know, Gill got my attention again. He explained that I had the fear of missing out. And he was right I never want to miss a good conversation.

And that's when I knew...that fish nostril might have been that one person that did completely understand me. Too bad I haven't seen him again since that night. Guess there was a better conversation out there.


well kids that's that, I am a FOMO on the reg.