Have you ever tried to escape the real world? Because I have a case of the real world blues. Well, I had them them. Bad. So, instead of turning to hard drugs like the other blues brothers (John Belushi rest in peace) I decided to take a trip.
I am venturing around Europe in 34 days mostly because looking for love in all the wrong places seems to be way more fun then looking for love in the easy places (fraternity houses, bars, work, even church). All of the men listed in the previous places were either Good time Gary’s with no commitment (or other issues-if you know what I mean close friends) or Holier than now Hanks *names changed for sake of good interest). No what I am looking for! So I’m ready for the foreign love bug to jump up and bit me!
I am 15 days in and here is what I have found:
The Greek Island slogan is Open Your Hearts, which is exactly what I did, but falling in love on a donkey isn’t graceful. But, somehow I managed, Aussie men seem to love girls from Texas.(much more than texas men love girls from texas) The boisterous tour guide found himself loosing at a bar game to yours truly and loosing in the battle against love. He was swept away by my Coors “liiiight” y’all twang and seemingly blonder hair(thanks to our trips to the beach).
I broke his heart at the Sunset at Oia when an American accent of a Colombia Co-ed caught my ear and my heart. A good looking, smart, financial assistant in New York….yes please. Later to realize at the bar that he had dance moves of a baby giraffe.
I left Greece empty handed, headed for Istanbul in hopes of love.
So far all I have met are hairy men looking to “practice their english,” and have continued to find myself as a card carrying member of the lonely hearts club on the reg.
Ps. Don’t fret! I still have 19 days to find love!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Natural Disaster: Growing Up
Have you ever felt like the whole world was crumbling beneath you? I have, it happened on May 9, 2011. You may be thinking, ok she’s not from one of the multiple cities that has been crushed my these natural disaters(which is true) but I have faced a natural disaster of my own. Growing up. Yes, it’s natural, and Yes, at the moment it is a disaster. Or at least it seems to be a devastating as one.
May 9, 2011 was the day I left some of the best friends I could imagine. The day I said good bye to keg stands, bouncing, the student section tottys, and late-nighting(ok, maybe not but a girl can dream.) This was also the day that I said hello to, serving time on Albans(living with my parents), picking out dental insurance, considering a retirement plan, and receiving emails from my boss.
This day is a realization of bad timing, Realizing that maybe I should have given that (big) guy sophomore year a chance. (As he saunters across the stage with honors and a much slimmer physique) or worse starting to date a new boy (when he shows up to your graduation party with 20 of his closest family and friends that came in for graduation and having to meet them all.)
It seems from this bad timing that nothing good comes from this day. This day will forever be remembered as the worst natural disaster ever. The step into the real world.
Ok ok, I know im being a Debbie downer. Maybe I should look at the rainbow after the rain….so let’s give it a try: Realizing that I have laughed harder in the past 4 years than I knew was possible (also a plus that same laughter burned tons of latenight cals off). Realizing that through all of the bad break ups, hookups, and stupid fights there is always someone there to sit on the couch with and spoon feed my moral hang over with the typical “he’s not worth it,” “you are so much preitter than her,” or my favorite “I’ve done worse!” lines that are always soothing. Realizing that no matter where I am (Istanbul, dallas, new york, or Houston) there is always going to be that someone that needs meand knows me better than anyone else.
So now that I am sitting here thinking about the #realworldblues they don’t actually seem to be that bad. Hey, people always call me a natural disater and they always seem to come back for more. So as for the natural disaster of growing up, hit me with your best shot! I’ll be waiting to see what you can bring on because I know that even if that levee breaks there will be someone to pick me up on the reg.
May 9, 2011 was the day I left some of the best friends I could imagine. The day I said good bye to keg stands, bouncing, the student section tottys, and late-nighting(ok, maybe not but a girl can dream.) This was also the day that I said hello to, serving time on Albans(living with my parents), picking out dental insurance, considering a retirement plan, and receiving emails from my boss.
This day is a realization of bad timing, Realizing that maybe I should have given that (big) guy sophomore year a chance. (As he saunters across the stage with honors and a much slimmer physique) or worse starting to date a new boy (when he shows up to your graduation party with 20 of his closest family and friends that came in for graduation and having to meet them all.)
It seems from this bad timing that nothing good comes from this day. This day will forever be remembered as the worst natural disaster ever. The step into the real world.
Ok ok, I know im being a Debbie downer. Maybe I should look at the rainbow after the rain….so let’s give it a try: Realizing that I have laughed harder in the past 4 years than I knew was possible (also a plus that same laughter burned tons of latenight cals off). Realizing that through all of the bad break ups, hookups, and stupid fights there is always someone there to sit on the couch with and spoon feed my moral hang over with the typical “he’s not worth it,” “you are so much preitter than her,” or my favorite “I’ve done worse!” lines that are always soothing. Realizing that no matter where I am (Istanbul, dallas, new york, or Houston) there is always going to be that someone that needs meand knows me better than anyone else.
So now that I am sitting here thinking about the #realworldblues they don’t actually seem to be that bad. Hey, people always call me a natural disater and they always seem to come back for more. So as for the natural disaster of growing up, hit me with your best shot! I’ll be waiting to see what you can bring on because I know that even if that levee breaks there will be someone to pick me up on the reg.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
NYE KISS
Who was your New Years Eve kiss?
Girls sit and plot and plan their whole entire night months before New Years Eve. What city, what bar, what dress, what shoes, what nail polish color, and most important what boy?????
From my opinion, it’s not really what boy, more like which kiss? Here is NYE, the stroke of midnight, from my perspective.
Different types of New Years kisses:
1) Peek-a-boo: 5-4-3-2-1-turn and kiss. This is a good kiss from a stranger. The person standing next to you in the crowd that you will never see again. The boy that popped up right at the perfect time, that you have no intention of ever seeing again, but it was a good filler for the new year.
2) Pity Party: You know that girl that hangs out with all couples. That girl that has beautiful friends with even more beautiful boyfriends but no beau of her own. That girl gets the pity party kiss. When it chimes midnight she blows her horn and everyone kisses around her. When the couples finally look up from sucking face this girl is twiddling her thumbs trying not to make it obvious that she is so shamefully aware of her kiss-less lips. One of the girlfriends always turns to her boyfriend and says, “Go kiss pitiful, boyless, kissless, **insert your most awkward friends name here.** She’ll like it.” Then it happens the pity kiss. A short, sweet, peck-the kind you give your grandfather.
If you got the pity kiss this year, don’t worry about it! You might not be that bad, awkward or terrible looking, but I do have a suggestion for a new years resolution: look for some uglier friends. Friends that next new years you can send off your new man to pity kiss them!
3) Wet-and-Wild: oh baby ohhh baby. Tweeddle-drunk and tweeddle drunker getting it on the dance floor always go for the wet and wild at midnight. It doesn’t matter if it is a boyfriend/girlfriend combo or two perfect strangers. The wet and wild is the drunkards new years kiss that may turn into tomorrow mornings wake-up call. When your friends point at you and say, “And YOU were making out with the midget Mexican man with the fedora on!” and you are horrified. This is what I say to you Wet and Wild kisser, good for you! At least it will be one for the record books, even if you don’t remember it happening!
4) Woopsie-daisies: These are the kisses that you wake up and when your friends ask the dreaded question and you tell them the answer they respond by saying something like “oohhh, is that going to be awkward now?” It comes in many forms. This is the dreaded, woops, I made out with my best guy friend, my roommates ex-boyfriend, my neighbor or I think the worst is ex-boyfriend.
The ex-boyfriend kisser wins the Woopsie-Daisies award. Y’all probably just patched things up. Y’all could all hang out in a group again and it was going well. He was even talking to some other girl he met somewhere else and you, ex-boyfriend kisser, kissed him.
For you, Woopsie-Dasieys kisser, I do feel bad because this could turn into a sticky situation. But look at it this way-the boy that was already in your life could be the right one, 2011 could be the year of good things for you two. OR, think of it this way, midnight is almost last year so put it in the package with the rest of your woopsie daisies from 2010 and move on.
5) Mr. Incredible: No, I’m not talking about an over sized blonde man in a red spandex suit. I’m talking about the perfect vision of a midnight kiss. The guy you were making eyes with at the bar at the beginning of the night turned into the guy that was getting you drinks turned into the most magical midnight kiss turned into the man your walking down the aisle towards…ok maybe that’s a little fast but every girl can dream, right?
Everyone had one of these NYE kisses. If you didn’t, you should have, why not start the year off right with something interesting? I personally was on a family vaca in the Galapagos Islands salsa dancing in the streets with randar Ecuadorian men (whitegirlproblems). Regardless, I am with all you non-kissed peeps and have every intention of finding Mr. Incredible some other way.
I’ll be out on the streets trying to relive my NYE to find him on the reg.
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